


stealing through the night's uncertainties

by aeriamamaduck



Series: Alyosha [17]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Aging, Airports, Children, Coping, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Hinted Self-Medication, Husbands, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Marriage, Married Couple, Multilingual, Parenthood, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Canon, Post-Series, Reunions, Separation Anxiety, Sleepy Cuddles, Texting, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-01-22 07:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12476864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: A family emergency summons Yuuri back to Hasetsu, leaving Victor and Alyosha to cope without him for a few days.





	stealing through the night's uncertainties

Well, that was the first morning over with, and Victor had survived.

 

It wasn't dissociation, he supposed. Yakov might call it accepting a hard situation and just going along with it, even if it went against the grain. Painfully. 

 

Painful and lonely.

 

He nearly stumbled. He nearly gave in to the need to just let himself melt into that familiar quiet, limbs growing heavier and chest feeling like lead. A depressive state was the last thing he needed.

 

Maybe it wasn't lonely. At least not before Victor dropped Alyosha off at school and started driving to the rink. 

 

His son had been brave the entire morning, or maybe he'd spent all his tears the day before. Whatever the case, Victor was happy Alyosha had at least gotten some sleep and eaten breakfast. Of course he'd still asked if Yuuri was back, and Victor had to remind him that Yuuri wouldn't return for a few more days.

 

He hated the reminder as much as Alyosha did, but they had to keep going. Victor couldn't fail him, or Yuri and Mila. Or himself, even if this separation was already taking a lot out of him.

 

At least it was only for a week, and Victor could only hope that things would be fine by the end of it. Anxiety tempered the feeling of loneliness, especially since Yuuri hadn't called him yet. He'd only sent a text in the middle of the night letting Victor know that he'd arrived safely.

 

So Victor still had no word on Toshiya's condition. He couldn't blame Yuuri if he'd been too exhausted to call, knowing how his husband easily fell prey to sleep. Still, Victor was worried, and now that he didn't have Alyosha to focus on it was much worse. 

 

He breathed and kept driving. Coaching Yuri and Mila would provide a few hours' distraction, and Yuuri would no doubt call with an update soon.

 

Saturday night had been awful.

 

A call from Mari caught them by surprise, considering how late it was. Victor watched, concerned, as Yuuri's face morphed into an expression of horror as the seconds passed, and Victor could hear snatches of what his sister-in-law was saying.

 

_"...surgery..."_

 

Toshiya apparently needed his gallbladder removed. It wasn't anything life-threatening, but it was enough to have Yuuri staying up for the rest of the night, fear radiating off of him in waves. Victor could only hold him, quiet and feeling the tension in the body in his arms. He'd made no decision as of yet, but Victor could sense how much he wanted to be with his parents and sister in that moment, hearing the news for himself rather than wait for updates from half a world away. 

 

"We can go if you want to, Yuuri," Victor had said, realizing that dawn was breaking outside.

 

"We can't all go," Yuuri replied in a tight voice, face pressed into Victor's neck. "You have Mila and Yuri, and Alyosha has school..." He trailed off for a moment, and Victor heard him swallow a sob. He breathed shakily and Victor held him through it, stroking his soft hair and staying silent. "He'd get scared if we took him to a hospital."

 

That was likely true. Alyosha was only four and they didn't want his first trip to Hasetsu to be marred by hospital trips. It seemed as though the subject was dropped, and Yuuri had decided to stay, but Victor knew that wasn't true when he saw how exhausted and panicky Yuuri was the next morning. The surgery wasn't unusual, and Toshiya was reportedly in good spirits, but they both knew just how quickly things could change. 

 

Putting a hand over Yuuri's the next morning, Victor looked into those exhausted eyes and said, "Go to Hasetsu for a few days, Yuuri." It hurt to say the words, but it hurt to see Yuuri feel so afraid and powerless.

 

He could see how Yuuri seized on those words, but he too was reluctant. This might have been easier if it was just the two of them, but they had a son now, and that separation wouldn't be at all easy. "I can't leave you two alone," Yuuri sighed, voice noticeably tired from whatever internal debate he'd been experiencing for the past few hours.

 

Of course he didn't want to, and Victor loved him for it. But he knew that Yuuri wouldn't rest easy until he was certain his father was going to be alright, and he didn't want to leave his mother and sister to cope with the waiting by themselves. As much as Victor wanted to be with him he had far too many responsibilities and they wanted to give Alyosha consistency for a few more months, easing him into a planned trip to meet his grandparents in time for Victor and Yuuri's wedding anniversary. It was January, and there were competitions that Victor had to make sure his students were ready for.

 

"We're going to be fine," Victor assured him, trying to control his own rising panic at the thought of days without Yuuri. There had been times when competition and the like necessitated brief separations, and they were always relieved when they were together again. It was going to be different this time. Now that Makkachin was gone the apartment would be completely solitary and still. Victor didn't like being alone in the apartment, ears straining to hear Makkachin's claws on the floor until he remembered that his old friend had passed on. Still, Victor didn't want to fail Yuuri or Alyosha. "Look, if you need us you know I'll get us there as quickly as I can. For now, I'll work things out here. We're a team, right? Have faith in me."

 

"I do have faith in you," Yuuri said quietly.

 

Buying the ticket had hurt. Watching Yuuri pack hurt more. Explaining it all to Alyosha so he would understand hurt much more. It didn't compare to the way he cried at the airport when he realized Yuuri really was leaving and he really wouldn't see him for a few days. Alyosha was used to Yuuri being around, especially sincr Victor was usually the one flying out for competitions, so this was a drastic change for him. They were lucky enough to find a flight that left at noon that had a very brief connection.

 

Victor kept himself together for Yuuri and Alyosha's sake, remembering to keep his tears fenced in as he held their son in his arms and watched Yuuri walk through security, a clear look of apprehension on his face, and Victor thought he might change his mind and bear with the wait for news about his father. But he waved at them with a gaze that was heavy with love and sadness before leaving them.

 

Once he was parked, Victor's phone rang and shook him out of his thoughts. He gave a grateful exhalation at the facetime notification, happy for the chance to see Yuuri's face even if it was through a screen. Accepting the call, Victor felt his heart give several excited jolts as his husband's face filled the screen. "Yuuri," he breathed, not realizing just how tense he'd been.

 

Yuuri looked completely frazzled and exhausted, deep circles very apparent beneath his reddened eyes. There was a hint of stubble along his jaw, indicating that he hadn't had time for himself since...well, since leaving Saint Petersburg. Even so he smiled at Victor, equally relieved, and exclaimed, "Victor! Oh God, please tell me you didn't drop Alyosha off yet."

 

Victor smiled a bit dejectedly, hating to disappoint his husband when he was obviously at his physical and emotional limit yet wanting to be there for their son as much as he could. "Sorry, _zolotse_. I dropped him off a little while ago. I'm already at the rink," he explained, making his way through the doors.

 

His heart broke at the sad sigh Yuuri let out. "Damn...I wanted to talk to him before you took him to school, but I woke up five minutes ago." He then tiredly rubbed at his face, skewing his glasses as he added miserably, "I must look awful."

 

"Just a little jet-lagged,  _lapochka,_ " Victor said with a gentle chuckle, his heart feeling much lighter than it had for the past few hours. "How is Toshiya doing?" he asked, hoping there'd be some good news about his father-in-law, at least.

 

Yuuri smiled and Victor immediately felt relieved. "He's doing fine and the surgery went well. He's still resting, and his doctor says he should be okay now."

 

His shoulders sagging, Victor felt immensely grateful that everything went well. Toshiya needing his gallbladder removed had been completely unexpected, and apparently he'd been coping with the pain for some time before finally admitting that it was becoming bothersome. "Thank goodness," he said, slowly shrugging his coat off while making sure he was still holding on to the phone so he wouldn't miss a second of seeing Yuuri.

 

"But he will have to deal with all of us asking why he hadn't said anything about the pain in the first place," Yuuri added with a wry grin.

 

Giving a snort, Victor retorted, "Well, where do you think you got your stubbornness from, Yuuri?" And it was true, Yuuri couldn't deny his own stubborn nature, and after spending time with the Katsukis it was obvious where it had originated from.

 

Yuuri smirked back at him, eyelids looking rather heavy with sleepiness. "What about you two? Did Alyosha sleep alright?"

 

Victor bit his lip at that. They'd both learned it was important to make sure Alyosha slept in his own bed, but he hadn't had the heart to leave him alone the night before when he was still so upset over Yuuri not being with them. "He did," Victor said, sheepishly looking away. "I...may have accidentally fallen asleep next to him." Emotional exhaustion had left him reluctant to leave Alyosha's bed, and he meant to close his eyes only for a few moments so he could breathe and calm down. Soon he heard his alarm go off and woke up to find Alyosha sleeping on top of him.

 

Instead of disapproval, Yuuri gave him an understanding hum. "I'd remind you it's bad to make a habit of that, but I probably would've done the same. Did he cry for a long time?"

 

"He was fine once we got home, but he wouldn't let me out of his sight!" And it was true, Alyosha made a point of remaining whatever room happened to be in, save the bathroom, of course. "I was afraid he wouldn't want to go to school, but he soldiered on." It would've been cute if Victor hadn't been completely heart-broken by the sight of his son breathing shakily and swallowing down whatever tears were threatening to emerge during that long drive to school.

 

Yuuri nodded slowly, likely thinking along the same lines as Victor and sighing heavily. "Are you going to be able to pick him up?"

 

"Masha and Mitya were kind enough to offer, and you know how well Alyosha gets along with those twins of theirs." Meeting two first-time parents who were along the same age as they were had been a relief, more so since their twins were classmates of Alyosha. Georgi and the Nishigoris were their only other friends who were parents, but with Georgi in Kazan they were largely on their own before meeting the Mashkovs, Victor quickly building a rapport with them and exchanging phone numbers before Yuuri could blink.

 

"That's nice of them," Yuuri said, looking more at ease to the point that he started to yawn deeply, looking adorable but completely exhausted.

 

"Did you sleep at all?" Victor asked.

 

"Not really...I have no clue how long I've been awake..."

 

"You should go home and get some rest, Yuurichka."

 

"I'll get a ride with Mari. She's gonna pick up a change of clothes for Mom in a little while," Yuuri said, rubbing his eyes and blinking in an effort to stay alert. "Call me when Alyosha gets there. If I don't answer just keep calling me until I pick up."

 

Victor couldn't resist a laugh at the image of his husband burying himself underneath his pillows and potentially accidentally rejecting the first few calls before realizing who was calling. He sobered quickly at the thought of his husband sleeping alone. "Alright,  _detka_. I love you," he said, pouring all the adoration he could into the words.

 

"I love you too," Yuuri replied softly, giving Victor a tender smile before they ended the call, and they were plunged into the solitude of their separation yet again.

 

Victor readied himself, falling into routine and going over what he would work on with Yuri and Mila. It distracted him from every little intrusive thought that insisted that Yuuri wasn't coming back, that he'd been totally abandoned and he was going to do a terrible job of meeting Alyosha's every need, leading to his own son resenting him. 

 

He sighed and closed his locker, preoccupying himself by making sure it was locked. He had to go along with what adjustments he'd made for the schedule and remember that he  _trusted_ the Mashkovs, just like they trusted him and Yuuri that handful of times when they had to watch the twins for a bit. Everything would be fine, and Saturday would come soon enough and he'd have Yuuri back in his arms again.

 

When Victor walked into the rink he came to a stop when he spotted a very familiar figure near the barriers, turning around at his approach with that same scowl that appeared to be chiseled on his face from the moment he was born...or at least from the moment he and Lilia were divorced. "Yakov!"

 

His old coach replied with a deepening frown of disapproval. "Unbelievable. You're already starting practice late?"

 

"It's nice to see you too, Yakov!" Victor exclaimed, making his way over to Yakov and wrapping him up in a careful hug, too mindful of his age after everything that had happened that led to Victor taking over as Mila and Yuri's coach. Sometimes he came to visit, but it was usually unexpected. "And there's a very good explanation. I had to drop Alyosha off at school."

 

Yakov raised a brow at that. "Where's that husband of yours? Doesn't he usually do that? Is everything alright?"

 

"Yuuri's in Japan," Victor explained, sighing a little on the inside at the reminder. "He left yesterday morning."

 

" _What?!"_  

 

Victor nearly jumped, caught off-guard by Mila's shocked yell. He turned around and met his students' flabbergasted faces, Mila looking upset and Yuri looking like he wanted to commit murder.

 

"The pork cutlet left you?!" the young man hissed.

 

Victor blurted out, "Are you out of your- _no he did not leave me."_   Getting his breathing under control again, Victor elaborated further for everyone's benefit, "His father needed surgery and Yuuri wanted to be there for his mother and to make sure he got through it alright. I would've explained in the text I sent yesterday but I was a little preoccupied taking care of Alyosha."

 

Mila cooed in sympathy at that. "Poor Yosha! You didn't bring him with you?"

 

"He's at school, but friends of ours are dropping him off later on."

 

Yuri regarded him for a moment, a light frown on his face, and remarked, "I'm pretty impressed you're keeping it together. We all know how useless and moody you get without your better half."

 

Before Victor could respond, Yakov stepped in and said, "Instead of mouthing off to your coach in front of your old coach you should  _START WARMING UP, YOU INCORRIGIBLE BRAT!"_

 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Yuri drawled, slowly following Mila as she darted away.

 

While Victor was grateful to his coach for that little reminder to Yuri, he couldn't help putting a calming hand on the older man's shoulder. "Yakov, your blood pressure," he reminded him in a quiet voice.

 

Yakov gave him that same scowl before breathing deeply, Victor able to feel the tension leave him. "That goes for you too, Victor," he said, giving him that same expectant look. "Set an example for your students."

 

"Come on, have mercy on me in my old age!" Victor replied with a slight whine.

 

"You're thirty-four years old. It'll be good for you," Yakov said firmly, and Victor knew there was no use arguing with him.

 

And so Victor found himself stretching at the barrier, careful of the tiny twinge he felt in his ankle whenever he attempted something ambitious. His muscles burned, but it was a good burn that helped ground him in this place in time. Yakov sat at the bench, watching Victor and the two younger skaters out on the ice. "So, how are you and your boy coping?" he asked in a quiet, gruff voice.

 

"As well as can be expected," Victor replied, grunting slightly as he leaned forward and gave his back muscles a good stretch. "It didn't hit him that Yuuri was really leaving until we got to the airport. He cried so much, Yuuri almost didn't get on the plane..."

 

Yakov gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "Things were fine at home?"

 

"Better than I expected," Victor admitted. "Alyosha wouldn't let me out of his sight. He misses Yuuri, and I'm afraid of doing something wrong."

 

"The fact that you worry about that makes you a better parent than most. That little boy adores you, Vitya, and days like these will count for something someday," Yakov said.

 

Looking at his former coach in complete surprise, Victor felt the words touch on each of his fears, making him feel a bit better about this entire situation. He straightened, smiling at Yakov gratefully. "Thanks, Yakov."

 

Once Yakov left a couple of hours later, Victor had almost successfully gotten his mind off of Yuuri's absence, concentrating on giving his students individual attention. He didn't want to think about how it was Yuuri who came in with Alyosha, patiently guiding him around the ice in slow circles while Victor worked with Mila and Yuri.

 

"Papa!"

 

His heart soared at the sound of that little voice, and Victor was smiling when he turned to see his son running towards him. "Careful,  _synok!_ Don't run," he warned, his wide smile quickly doing away with the effect as he gathered the boy in his arms and hugged him tightly. Holding on to him, Victor waved at the man approaching them. "Mitya! Masha didn't come with you?" 

 

Mitya shook his head and explained, "She's in the car with the twins. They would've gotten lost in here in two seconds! She told me to say hi." He looked around and gave an impressed whistle. "So this is where you coach! Impressive!"

 

"Home away from home. Thank you so much for dropping him off," Victor said, his relief evident in his voice.

 

"We're happy to do it," Mitya replied, giving them both a fond look as he reached up to affectionately ruffle Alyosha's light brown hair. "We'll see you again tomorrow, Alyosha."

 

"What do we say?" Victor gently reminded the boy in his arms. 

 

"Thank you, Mr. Mashkov!" Alyosha piped up, arms still wrapped tight around Victor's neck.

 

He kissed his son's cheek and turned to tell Mitya, "I owe you both big time for this."

 

"Let's all go out to dinner one of these weekends and call it even! Masha loves yours and Yuuri's stories."

 

"It's a deal."

 

Mitya then left and Victor sighed an anxious breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. His son was in his arms again and no worse for wear. Just a few more days of this. Once he made sure his students were fine he made his way to the break room, asking Alyosha, "Was everything okay at school?"

 

"Pavel ate a bug," Alyosha replied simply.

 

Sitting down at a table, Victor fought down the revulsion he immediately felt (even if he might have done something similar in his childhood years), and asked, "...You didn't eat one too, right?"

 

"Nuh-uh. Bugs are gross and he threw up later."

 

A wise boy, that one. He set Alyosha's bookbag on the seat next to them and spent a minute holding him, still surprised after all these months that Alyosha could appreciate a moment of quiet, even at his age. 

 

"I miss Tou-san," he said softly. Teaching Alyosha how to address Yuuri in Japanese had been meant as a surprise, and it had worked out beautifully when Alyosha greeted him like that one morning and Yuuri looked like he was going to weep from joy.

 

Victor squeezed him reassuringly. "I miss him too. Do you want to call him?"

 

"Yeah!" Alyosha exclaimed. "What about Jiji's tummy ache?"

 

"The doctors made him all better!" Victor replied, quickly pulling out his phone and praying Yuuri answered promptly. 

 

It took a few rings but blessedly Yuuri answered the call, his face sleepy as he blinked into alertness as he slid his glasses on. "Victor?"

 

Alyosha beamed at the sight of Yuuri on the screen and exclaimed, "Tou-san!"

 

Yuuri no longer looked sleepy when he looked at their son, smiling with a joy that took Victor's breath away. "Hello, beautiful," he greeted, his heart pounding.

 

"Hey, you two!" Yuuri said in his sweetly accented Russian, sitting up and running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I'm sorry I didn't get to call you this morning, Alyosha. Was school okay? Did you eat breakfast?"

 

"Mm-hmm! Papa made me my cereal and he took me to school! Then Lena and Pyotr's parents picked me up and brought me here!"

 

"That's good," Yuuri said, and Victor watched his warm eyes fill with that familiar pain, one that Victor was feeling himself at only being able to see his husband through a screen. "I miss you two so much."

 

"How's Jiji? When're you coming home?" Alyosha asked, clearly wanting even more confirmation from Yuuri himself even after constant reassurance from Victor.

 

"Jiji's fine. He's awake and he's going to get better soon. I'm coming back on Saturday." Yuuri then looked at Victor and added, "I'm supposed to land in Pulkovo at around five in the afternoon. I can get a taxi if-"

 

"Nonsense," Victor interrupted, disliking the idea of his husband making his way home on his own after a tiring week. "We're going to meet you there!"

 

Yuuri appeared to relent, giving him an easy smile. "Okay then. No taxi." He then looked at Alyosha again and gently said, "I'm going to talk to Papa in English for a second, okay?"

 

"Okay," Alyosha answered, nodding his permission and reaching for a small ruler sticking out of a pouch on his book bag, preoccupying himself with it.

 

Turning his attentive gaze on Victor, Yuuri asked him in English, "How are you? Really?"

 

Victor smiled at the warmth those beautiful brown eyes of Yuuri's held, tucking the memory of them into his mind so he could remember that Yuuri wasn't going to abandon him and that he was going to come back to him soon. Even so he put a hand to his heart with a heavy sigh. "My heart is broken and every moment until your return will be pure agony." He couldn't resist laughing at the dry pout Yuuri gave him and added, "I'm alright, Yuuri. I just miss you. So much. So forgive me if I have to hug or kiss you spontaneously for a few weeks after you come back."

 

"You do that anyway," Yuuri retorted with a laugh.

 

"What about you? How are you feeling now, _lapochka?"_  Victor asked.

 

"I didn't think I'd fall asleep so fast, but I was out like a light." He paused for a moment, his smile turning wistful. "I miss feeling you next to me."

 

He wanted so badly to be there, to be able to hold Yuuri and kiss him as much as they both wanted. "Have you eaten?"

 

With a tired nod, Yuuri answered, "I had a soda and a protein bar at the hospital. Maybe I'll put something together in the kitchen before I head back to the hospital. I don't want to leave Mom and Mari alone. You should get back to Mila and Yuri."

 

"Alright, I will." Switching back to Russian, Victor added for Alyosha's benefit, "We'll talk to you later,  _detka_!"

 

At that their son looked up and yanked the phone from Victor's hand, shouting into it, "Bye, Tou-san!"

 

Yuuri beamed at their son and gave him a little wave. "Bye, you two!"

 

When he hung up, Victor felt like breathing was much easier.  _You're okay. You're fine, you're okay, he loves you, he's coming back._ He pressed his lips against the back of Alyosha's head, watching his son's reflection on the phone screen. He looked resigned but still sad, and his little sigh made Victor's heart ache. "Do you want to skate for a bit? Or eat?" he asked Alyosha.

 

"I have my coloring book," the boy replied, carefully placing the phone on the table. "I don't wanna skate without Tou-san."

 

Victor almost wanted to laugh at the way history seemed to repeat itself in that innocent statement. He gave Alyosha a quick hug, kissing the top of his head. "That's fine."

 

And it appeared that they were both fine, and before Victor knew it they were all getting ready to go home, though he noticed Alyosha wasn't following Mila's every move with as much enthusiasm as usual. After sending Yuri and Mila on their way, Victor gathered his son and their things and made his way out to the car, sending a quick text to Yuuri and a selfie of them both in the car before driving off.

 

He did well for a few hours, focusing on Alyosha by making sure he was fed and entertained, Victor careful to shift all of his attention on his son.

 

 _Everything is fine. Seconds, entire minutes are passing by and you're doing well._ He turned to smile at Alyosha, who was sitting quietly in his seat and staring at Yuuri's empty spot.

 

He picked up the phone, zeroing in on Yuuri's text from about an hour ago.

 

**Yuuri:**

**I love you both**

**and I miss you so much**

 

Victor replied with a photo of Alyosha, having successfully coaxed him into giving a tiny little smile even if it was still too quiet and all they had were Yuuri's words on a small screen.

 

**Victor:**

**we miss you too <3 <3 <3**

 

A couple of hours later Victor had Alyosha's head on his chest, both of them lying in his and Yuuri's bed as Victor had one of Alyosha's books open to the final page, and he read the last sentence in soft tones. He was glad Alyosha appeared to be getting drowsy, so getting him to sleep through the night seemed likely. 

 

"Alright,  _malen'kiy,_ " he murmured softly, setting the book aside and kissing the top of the boy's head. "To bed with you."

 

"I wanna stay with you," Alyosha mumbled into his shirt, tightening his hold on him.

 

Victor sighed a little at his words, placing a soothing hand on his son's head and stroking his hair slowly. "I'm just across the hall if you need me. You're our big, brave boy, remember?"

 

If Alyosha had refused Victor was sure he would have given in, not wanting to argue with him when he was so mentally exhausted and missing Yuuri. But his son nodded quietly after a moment and let Victor carry him out of the room and into his bedroom. 

 

"I want Tanushka," Alyosha said as Victor finished tucking him in.

 

"Right away," Victor chuckled, reaching for the favored doll with the haphazard hair. Alyosha eagerly reached for her, clutching her tightly and looking up at Victor with wide eyes. Bending down to kiss his forehead and lightly tap his nose, Victor softly said, "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."

 

Alyosha only nodded quietly, and Victor didn't take his eyes off of him as he made his way out of the room, making sure the dog-shaped night-light turned on when he turned the light off and making sure he left the door slightly opened the way Alyosha liked it.

 

He kept on breathing as every moment passed, trying not to linger on thoughts of sleeping in his bed alone without even Makkachin's warm weight and breathing to comfort him. He took his time showering and brushing his teeth, trying to convince himself that his physical exhaustion was on par with his emotional exhaustion just so he'd be able to fall asleep without needing to take a sleeping pill.

 

He lay awake for what felt like hours, scrolling through his text log with Yuuri.

 

**Yuuri:**

**Dad's still doing good. I feel like I haven't breathed this well in days**

**I showed everyone more photos and videos of Alyosha.**

 

**Victor:**

**they're going to be starved for him by the time we get there in May**

 

**Yuuri:**

**went out for a quick walk with Mari. it's pretty cold here.**

**had to resist the urge not to burn my entire throat drinking hot tea as soon as we got back home**

**then we drank a beer. sorry, no pole dancing :)**

**it's still not the same without you**

 

**And we ran into Takeshi. walked a bit with him and talked about Alyosha and the girls**

**are you two still okay?**

 

**Victor:**

**we're fine**

**I'm fine**

**I promise <3**

**it's too quiet**

**the bed's too big for me now**

**but I'm going to be very patient**

 

In no way did he feel patient as he typed out another message.

 

**Victor:**

**you're probably asleep now**

**sending you kisses**

**which I'm still going to make up for when you're back in my arms again**

**prepare yourself <3**

 

He set his phone on his nightstand, hoping he'd be able to make Yuuri smile when he woke up, even miles away from each other. When he finally did fall asleep it was with his face pressed against Yuuri's pillow.

 

_I can make it. I can make it._

* * *

 

Yuuri felt both an invigorating excitement and heavy exhaustion within his body, his limbs crying out for mercy after long hours of flying, but his heart threatening to leap out of his chest at the thought of walking out into the waiting area and finding Victor and Alyosha there.

 

Too long, a week had been too long, and more than once Yuuri felt painfully guilty for listening to Victor and leaving Saint Petersburg. But at the same time he was beyond glad he had, happy to have been at his father's side while he recovered and relieved that he and his mother and sister could all worry together. At least he'd seen his father home safely and made sure that everyone was alright before he left.

 

He'd been beyond surprised to realize that he hadn't even gone to the rink for a few hours of quiet skating, but even the thought of going in lazy circles without Alyosha made him feel worse than he already did. Based on everything Victor said and their facetime sessions, Alyosha was handling everything as well as he could, considering his age. Yuuri hated to think of letting Alyosha down, so he was determined to give his son all the attention he could, even if he was tempted to crawl into bed as soon as they got home.

 

Easier said than done, especially when he felt so stiff and achy, and probably looked fairly terrifying from lack of sleep and the mask that covered half his face. 

 

Fortunately that had been enough to deter the person next to him from talking to him the whole flight, apparently deciding to read something Yuuri couldn't make heads or tails of in the state he was in. When they served drinks he immediately ordered chamomile tea, needing to settle his shaky nerves. 

 

When they landed he sighed with a smile, knowing his husband and son were so close. He wanted to leap over everyone in the plane and run onto the jetway, speed through customs, and out into the waiting area just so he could have the two people he loved back in his arms.

 

But he had to wait. He pulled out his phone to quickly text Victor.

 

**Yuuri:**

**just landed. I'LL BE THERE SOON.**

 

**Victor:**

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**< 3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3**

 

He knew they hadn't been completely on their own, Victor having told him that they'd had Mila and Yuri over for dinner a couple of nights for a bit of a distraction. Based on the photo attachments Yuuri received those couple of nights had been very entertaining. He truly hoped they were, because he hated to think of Victor lingering on thoughts that would do him more harm than good. They were fine, Victor insisted they were fine just like Yuuri did whenever they communicated.

 

But like with his father, Yuuri wouldn't rest easy until he could see for himself that Victor and Alyosha were alright. Tired as he was, knowing that they were just a short distance away from him rather than an entire continent filled him with an energy that he knew could get him through the frustration of getting through the airport. 

 

Glad that he'd had the foresight to only bring a single carry on, Yuuri made his way through the jetway, silently willing the crowd to move a bit faster or at least give him room to weave through them.

 

He was almost running, following every sign leading him to the arrivals area and probably looking like a madman in a mask, but Yuuri wasn't thinking about that at the moment. In the back of his mind he realized why this seemed so familiar, memories of his first competition without Victor surfacing, and the way they reunited once he landed in Japan.

 

Stepping out into the arrivals area, Yuuri automatically started searching for the familiar sight of Victor, tugging down his face mask and breathing to ease the wild beating of his heart. 

 

Sure enough he saw them, catching sight of Victor's face just a short distance away, surrounded by people who were boisterously embracing each other. Yuuri watched a smile of relief and joy spread across his husband's face, and he whispered something to the little boy in in his arms as he nodded towards Yuuri.

 

Victor set Alyosha down and right away the beaming boy made his way towards Yuuri, arms stretched out towards him. "Tou-san!" he shouted, sounding so happy that Yuuri's own smile widened further as he opened his arms up to catch Alyosha.

 

He wrapped his arms around his son, basking in his warm weight as he lifted him up and buried his face in his light brown hair. "You got so heavy!" he exclaimed jokingly, feeling his throat tighten as he tried to hang tight to the reality of finally having his son in his arms.

 

"No I didn't!" Alyosha retorted, keeping his short arms wrapped around Yuuri's neck like he was just as afraid that the moment wasn't real, that they'd open their eyes and realize they were separated again.

 

Another pair of arms around both of them further solidified everything, and for the first time in hours Yuuri felt like his feet were on familiar ground. Victor pressed his lips to Yuuri's cheek several times, one kiss managing to find his lips, and he was careful not to crush Alyosha between them as he looked at Yuuri with his warm eyes, blooming with happiness and slightly glazed over with tears. "Welcome back, Yuurichka," Victor said softly, his voice shaky with emotion.

 

Yuuri gazed back at him and held tighter to Alyosha, too overjoyed to do anything other than give him a watery smile. They were both here and they were fine and they were holding him so tightly he couldn't have fallen apart at all. He reached up with one hand to run his fingers through soft silver hair, heart breaking sweetly at the way Victor leaned into the touch. "I love you so much," he murmured, so thankful for both of them.

 

Once they got to the parking garage Yuuri was still holding Alyosha, who was talking his ear off about everything Yuuri had missed in the past week. He kept holding on to Victor's hand, his husband tugging his suitcase along as they made their way towards the car. They reluctantly let go so Victor could put the suitcase in the trunk and get the back door open so they could put Alyosha in his car seat. Yuuri could see the mild distress on his son's face and he quickly said in English, "I'll ride in the back with Alyosha."

 

"You'll be so far away from me," Victor said with a little pout.

 

Chuckling softly, Yuuri pressed another quick kiss to Victor's mouth and said, "I'm going to be right behind you the whole time. It's just...I hated being away from him."

 

At that Victor wrapped his arms around him again, squeezing him warmly for several moments, and Yuuri was so tempted to lean into him and let Victor's embrace lull him to sleep, and he'd wake up warm and safe in their bed. He stayed strong, though, and Victor kissed him again as he drew away, lightly holding his hands, and he said with a soft smile, "Be ready. He's going to keep talking your ear off."

 

"Good," Yuuri said, wanting to hear everything Alyosha had to say. He squeezed Victor's hands and added in a soft voice, "You were amazing this week."

 

Yuuri knew he was one of the few people in the world who saw the tender vulnerability in Victor, the part that was so emotionally worn and raw and had been quietly hidden away for years while he worked his body to the bone and did all he could to make others happy. He saw it again as Victor's smile faltered slightly, and it showed just how hard the past few days had been, just how hard he worked to keep himself together for Alyosha's sake. And for his own sake. "Aren't I amazing  _every_ week?" he said, grinning at Yuuri playfully.

 

"This week especially," Yuuri insisted, bringing both of Victor's hands up to kiss his knuckles. "Let's go home."

 

The enthusiasm in Alyosha's voice throughout the drive from Pulkovo helped keep Yuuri awake, and he stayed engaged as he listened to stories about classmates eating bugs and throwing up immediately after. More than once Yuuri caught Victor's eye in the rearview mirror, and they smiled at each other with joy and promise as Alyosha's voice filled the car.

 

It got a little harder when they arrived home, Yuuri's limbs heavy with exhaustion. Even so he unhooked Alyosha from the car seat himself and lifted him into his arms again, clutching Victor's hand as soon as he could. It felt completely right. Well...at least it would once he was rested. Once in their apartment Yuuri set Alyosha down so he could take off his shoes and coat, and he nearly crumpled to the ground in utter bliss when Victor immediately started rubbing his incredibly stiff shoulders.

 

"The shower and bed are all ready for you,  _detka_."

 

"I can hang on for a couple of hours," Yuuri told him, looking at Alyosha as he excitedly tugged off his mittens and hat and kneeling to help him unzip his thick coat.

 

Victor took the coat when Yuuri handed it to him, hanging it up on the hook next to Yuuri's. "Are you sure? You had a long trip and you're jet-lagged."

 

While he appreciated the concern, Yuuri had been mostly looking forward to spending the evening with both of them rather than just going to bed right away. He smiled at Victor, feeling soothed as his husband cupped his cheek in his hand, and said, "I'll be fine, at least until it's time to put him to bed."

 

Nodding in acceptance, Victor insisted, "At least let me feed you."

 

Yuuri laughed, realizing how empty his stomach felt once he'd gotten over the anticipation of getting back home. "Well, I'm not saying no to that."

 

He surprised himself further over the next few hours by managing to keep his eyes open while Alyosha added more to his recollections of the past week, talking about how the Mashkov twins kept asking if he skated at the rink too and how Mila had coaxed him into skating alongside her a couple of days ago. Victor had taken video of the entire thing and Yuuri found himself watching it about five times. Sitting with them at the table again made him feel like things were in their place again and Yuuri hadn't gotten that terrifying call from Mari. Like Victor had warned him, Alyosha never took his eyes off of both of them, as though reassuring himself that both of his parents were with him. 

 

Tired as he was, Yuuri let his son's voice fill his head while holding Victor's hand on top of the table, his thumb stroking the tops of his fingers. It felt peaceful after days of worrying about so many things, but he was home now and he knew his father was going to be fine, and he hadn't left his mother and sister to worry alone. Now they could go back to figuring out their new life as a family while preparing for the actual trip to Hasetsu in May and all that would come after.

 

A couple of hours later Yuuri was halfway to feeling like a functioning human again after having showered, eaten, and shared a few adoring kisses with his husband. He was lying on their bed, pleasurably sleepy as he held on to Alyosha. The boy had gotten his shower and immediately run into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and on top of Yuuri while he was texting Mari, settling his head on Yuuri's chest and proceeding to fall asleep without a word. Yuuri knew he should take him to his own bed while he was deeply asleep, but he wanted him in his arms just a while longer. When Victor came in, showered and dressed, he smiled at the sight of them together, and Yuuri smiled back as he gently nuzzled the top of Alyosha's head. "God, he smells so good. I'm never letting him go. If you wanna hold him you're gonna have to hold me too."

 

"What a sacrifice," Victor said with a grin as he slid into the bed, settling close to Yuuri and turning his face towards his to kiss him, long and gentle as Victor's fingers stroked through his hair. He sighed, eyelids growing heavier as he gazed into those beautiful eyes that appeared to be drinking him in. That look hit deep, making his heart beat like he was falling in love all over again.

 

Yuuri leaned in to press another kiss to Victor's soft lips, murmuring against them, "Thank you." He drew away, turning his face slightly to kiss Victor's wrist and added, "For understanding why I had to go...and for making this easier on Alyosha. I owe you so much."

 

"You don't owe me a thing," Victor replied softly. "You're my husband and he's my son, and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat."

 

"Still, it must've been hard," Yuuri said, reaching up with one hand to stroke Victor's bangs back. "And lonely. I know I was. Being in Hasetsu just wasn't the same without you."

 

Victor started blinking rapidly, moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes, a sight that had Yuuri wanting to hold him and comfort him, giving him everything he needed. Then Victor's phone vibrated, drawing them out of the quiet. Hurriedly wiping his eyes, Victor reached for his phone and chuckled at what was on the screen. "God, I forgot to let Yuri and Mila know you were home. That didn't wake Alyosha up, right?"

 

"No, he's out like a light," Yuuri said, smiling indulgently at the thoroughly exhausted boy slumbering on top of him. He watched Victor squint at the screen, a now-familiar sight. Thinking on it a bit further, Yuuri did recall that Victor had been complaining of headaches and even squinted a bit when he was reading. "You know what?"

 

"What?" Victor replied, typing out a reply.

 

"I think you need glasses."

 

Victor blinked in surprise and chuckled softly. "I think you're right." He put his phone away and settled back in next to Yuuri, an inquisitive look in his eyes as he asked, "Do you think I'd look good with frames like yours?"

 

Yuuri smiled sleepily as he imagined it. "You look good in anything."

 

"Yuuri, be honest," Victor demanded softly with a pout.

 

"Okay, okay. Um...Maybe slimmer frames," he said, fighting back a yawn and making a mental note to remind Victor to make an appointment to have his vision checked. 

 

He didn't realize he'd closed his eyes until he felt Victor pressing soft kisses against his lips and face, lazily nuzzling his cheek with a soft, happy hum that made Yuuri feel so very cared for. "Are you trying to kiss me awake?" he mumbled, hearing how his voice slurred from sleepiness.

 

"I'm trying to kiss you to sleep," his husband replied, amusement in his voice.

 

"Well, it's working," he murmured, no longer able to keep his eyes open.

 

He woke up briefly when he felt Victor gently lift Alyosha off of him, and then again when Victor's weight made the bed dip. Yuuri sighed in bliss when Victor wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Victor's chest and breathing in his scent as their legs tangled together beneath the blanket. His hands immediately found their way underneath the back of Victor's shirt, spreading over the skin of his back.

 

Yuuri stopped fighting sleep, drifting off to the feeling of Victor's hand stroking his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> comments, please! 
> 
> my tumblr: **aeriamamaduck**


End file.
